“Sometimes parents send their child to university and they’re not even worried, but then these group chats create a worry that something might be wrong,” says Rayyah Uddin, 20, a third-year student at the University of Nottingham.
She knows of WhatsApp group chats being set up by parents of first-year students at her university and has also seen parents use TikTok to share their worries about their child not making friends, and asking other parents for their help.
“These are issues the students should really be figuring out for themselves, and it is better if parents try and talk to their child rather than immediately jump to other parents,” she says.
Not hearing from your child all the time isn’t necessarily a cause for concern – “they might just be having a really good time and are getting absorbed into university life,” Rayyah adds.
Parent social media groups can be useful, according to psychologist Charlotte Armitage, but not when they are used to share private difficulties, track movements or ask questions that the student is capable of asking themselves.
“Constant checking, tracking or intervening may soothe the parent in the short term, but it can inadvertently communicate to the young adult: ‘I am not sure you can cope without me.'”
“Of course, where there is a credible safeguarding concern, a significant change in behaviour, or a known risk to their wellbeing, parents should act.”