Working life today is full of constantly evolving challenges and pitfalls. When is it OK to date a co-worker? Can you tell your team to get back into the office five days a week? Whether you’re a baffled Boomer, a muddled millennial, or a confused Gen Z-er, our brilliant columnist Nicola Horlick is here to help. She is using her experience of corporate life to guide you through the traps and set you on the path to success.
Dear Nicola,
I’m a manager, and I try to be a good one. I struggle, however, when people ask for days off when they’re trying to get over the death of a dog or a cat.
Should this really be considered in the same way as the death of a close family member?
What’s making the issue more difficult for me is that I have never had a pet myself, which means that I probably have little idea of the attachment people can have to one of these creatures.
I am probably coming over as a bit unsympathetic.
I would speak to HR to see if the rules on compassionate leave should be tweaked, but frankly, they’re too nervous to give a firm line on almost anything.
Tamara
Nicola replies: I am a dog lover and, as far as I am concerned, their lives are as important to me as those of many of the people that surround me.
My husband died in November 2022 and I have had the greatest comfort from our beautiful Weimaraner dog. He is extremely empathetic. He knows when I am down and does his best to cheer me up. I know that when he dies, I will be in the depths of grief, and it will feel as though I have lost a close family member.
If you haven’t had any pets, I can understand that you don’t comprehend the meaning that the relationship one forms with a dog or cat has, especially for those who have lost their partner or have always been single.
It may seem ridiculous to you that a colleague is heartbroken as the result of the loss of a pet, but I can assure you that the feelings are intense and very real.
In these days of homeworking, at least for office-based staff, allowing some time at home to come to terms with the loss is perfectly acceptable in my view.
It is, of course, more difficult for those who have to be physically present at work. But even for them, a day off to recover should be given if you know the pet was of particular importance.
One thing I would say is that there is a huge shortage of skilled staff in many sectors, despite a recent small uptick in unemployment. If you want to retain your team, then you want them to know that you value them, you understand what is important to them and you care.
That is another reason for showing sympathy when they are devastated by the loss of a pet. It isn’t just good for the individual, but for the business overall.
Happy staff will lead to a better-performing business or organisation. You should definitely speak to HR about this and persuade them to put a new policy in place.